Christmas, Retailers, And The Santa Claus Conspiracy

Term Paper Title	Christmas, Retailers, And The Santa Claus Conspiracy
# of Words	908
# of Pages (250 words per page double spaced)	3.63

Christmas, Retailers, and the Santa Claus Conspiracy

        Well it looks like it's that time of year again, when colourful lights
are hung on trees, families spend time together, and retailers swim naked
through their money.  You guessed it, I'm talking about Christmas, one of the
many holidays that have lost their meaning to commercialization.  Forget the
memory of Jesus Christ, now's the time to pay homage to the almighty buck.
     Nowadays when someone thinks of Christmas or Easter the idea of
Christianity is one of the last to come into their mind (although I don't think
it could have been made much  easier -- "Christ"ianity, "Christ"mas -- what kind
of minds are we dealing with?).  It's far more likely that their first thoughts
will be about buying the perfect gifts, having the most eye-damaging house
decorations on the block, or having a hairy old fat man in red underwear
arrested for putting their child on his lap and whispering to them to tell him
what they "really" want (strangely enough there are some parents out there who
actually pay money each year to have this abuse inflicted upon their children).

     The whole idea of Santa Claus is one of the scariest I've come across
and yet we embrace it.  The entire story sounds like something you should
threaten your kid with if he doesn't want to eat his veggies.  As I understand
it he's supposed to be a fat man wearing red underwear who is capable of sliding
down your chimney unharmed in order to quietly slip into your house while you're
sleeping.  If he really existed I'd be sitting up with a loaded shotgun every
Christmas Eve, not dreaming of gifts while this lunatic could be slicing the
throats of everyone in my house!  And to add to the horror he is said to use
"elves" to manufacture "toys" in a little "workshop" in the North Pole.  This
entire elf story sounds like a softening cover-up fed to us as propaganda.  The
truth of the matter is there's a Mafia hitman out there named Santa the Claw who
runs a sweatshop using illegal child labour to manufacture products in a remote
location where he can't be easily apprehended; or so that's what my skills of
deductive reasoning tell me.  So why the cover-up?  Simple.  The retailers,
businessmen, and all the other bad people are all in on it since they realized
long ago the amount of money they could make by marketing the "Santa Claus" idea.
So like everything about the holiday, it reverts to money.  And when you look
at Christmas today, where would it be without Santa Claus?  The multi-
millionaires would only be regular millionaires and I'm sure all us middle class
people would agree that that just wouldn't be acceptable.  Our sole purpose
during this holiday seaso...

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